Ideals

So, I was "stumbleupon"-ing the other night (see stumbleupon.com) and I discovered that there are dozens and dozens of celebrity adoptive families like ours. And some of them are even more complicated and rainbowy than ours.

For example, Steven Spielberg. Amazing director, world famous, but also has a crazy family with seven children! He beats us by one! Anyways, they have a variety of stepchildren, birth children, and two black, adopted children. Theo, one of the adoptees, went to Yale for undergrad (showing us all up, way to go). The eldest, a stepdaughter from his wife's previous marriage, is an actress with roles on The Practice and Grey's Anatomy. From the outside, I mean very outside because they successfully hid their kids from the press, it seems like their blended family functioned extremely well and produced successful adults.

But this begs the question: how is adopting a child from outside the family different than adopting your spouse's child from a previous marriage or relationship? Or is it different at all?

I'd argue that with my family that it is hard to differentiate. I was technically adopted by Mom only and then later by Dad, making me both an adoptee and a step-child of sorts. Also, Pax and Zahara were adopted with Mom filing as a single mom even though her and Dad were together at the time. But then Shiloh and the twins are their blood. But I don't think that any of this cheapens or decreases the ties I have with Dad, but those are what we made. I've been adopted twice. But I don't think the duration of our relationship determines the success of it. Spielberg's eldest daughter is not of his blood but he raised her as his own, making her an adoptee although never an orphan.

That was wordy. My point is what makes one adoptive family a more ideal candidate for adoption than another? Spielberg with all his fame and wealth, has provided his kids (all seven) with opportunities for success. He is in a heterosexual, traditional marriage. But my parents have been just as successful (even with a little more paparazzi) and have refused traditional marriage. Yet, gay couples who are in stable (probably more stable than Mom and Dad's) relationships are often denied the opportunity to adopt and raise a child when they would be able to provide all the resources needed. More on this later, I have to run to PSYC 101.